Following the Client’s lead in working with more traumatic memories and reactive, or destructive behaviors invovles listening to where the client is, what they can tolerate and where they are developmentally. Do they still react without thought? Have they developed the ability to name a feeling or do they still describe behaviorally; “I felt like puncing them in the face.” Correcting a Client’s behavior or asking a client that has not yet developed the ability to name their feeling how they could have done things differently, is not much help in integrating overwhelm. Listening to where the client’s thinking and responding abilites are and helping the client to develop that ability to judge their own behavior is following the client’s lead, listening to where their restrictions in emotional areas arre, and then helping the client to develop the ability to morally judge their own behavior. A client must first feel the safety and warmth of the relationship that listens to the client rather than teaches, corrects or Judges.
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